Nobody Knows
by Vartan-LoVer
Summary: Veronica doesn't want to deal, so she sneaks out. But the world forces her to make a big choice. Oneshot. Preseason.


**AN- DO NOT OWN VERONICA MARS**

She can hear the rising voices from her room upstairs. Soon, the once incoherent sounds begin to form words, clear as day. She runs a hand through her long blonde hair and closes her eyes. Instinctively, she reaches for her iPod, not in the mood to eavesdrop. The fights were always the same. There was no point in listening in anymore.

And turned the volume higher than she ever had, because today is worse, she knows that. She can feel it as the blue bar gains length on the screen. She reaches the halfway mark, but she can still hear the voices. Her lips release a sigh that she'd been holding in as her fingers dance across the click wheel.

Wasn't it enough that the past months had been hell for her? Duncan had dumped her for reasons still not known to her. Logan hated her for telling Lily was she saw.

Lily.

She was gone. Gone forever. Someone had snuck onto the Kane Estate and taken an ashtray to her face. An otherwise gorgeous face, Lily would say. Veronica chuckled lightly at the thought of what Lily would say to the entire fiasco. All the attention, all the drama it had caused.

And her father, he had suspected Jake Kane. She laid a hand atop a brown moving box, wondering what made him think that. It was true that the Kane's had always looked down upon Lily, but if anyone would kill her, it'd have Celeste. Jake genuinely loved Lily and Duncan. Celeste on the other hand, well Lily drove her up the wall. So why did her father suspect Jake? He had risked his entire career, his marriage, on the fact that Jake had done something. Veronica stood by her father, because she knew he wouldn't have done it without some solid ground.

The song ended and in the seconds of silence between the next, she could hear the screams again. Her stomach lurched at the assault to the sound barriers.

She couldn't handle this too.

Grabbing her keys from the nightstand, she pocketed her cellphone before lifting the window glass off. Carefully, as Lily had taught her, Veronica popped the screen off and set it aside. She reached out and clenched a fist around a tree branch. Once she put her foot on the window pane, Veronica leaped out the window and held onto the tree for dear life. Thankfully, the branch didn't extend too far from its trunk.

Once her feet hit the grass, Veronica moved to her new car, pushing it down the slope of her driveway and into the empty street. As soon as it hit the gravel, Veronica ran to the driver's side and started it. Although she doubted her parents would hear the engine over themselves, she wouldn't take any chances.

And she drove down the length of the PCH until she reached Cape Crescent. Parking her car carefully, Veronica ditched her shoes and walked until she could feel the cool sand underneath her toes. The night sky was clear, stars winking at their admirers.

The waves crashed against the sand in front of her and made delicate, smooth, sand rough and thick. Veronica took the time to think, to soak in the crisp night air. She wasn't upset that her parents were probably going to divorce. It was horrible, but it was on the bottom of her worries. She missed Lily. She wasn't sure how to handle losing the people she thought she could trust, but she knew Lily wouldn't approve of the way she was doing it. Veronica wished she could be as strong as Lily.

She knew it was impossible, but Veronica could feel the sand around her adjust to someone else. She felt that person staring at her. Bravely, she turned around and locked eyes with what she expected to be a stranger. And in a way, she was right.

"You're not welcome here," Logan slurred, barely standing straight. Veronica took in the sight of his wet body and the surfboard a few feet away. She couldn't believe that he had been surfing drunk.

"Logan, what the hell?" she scolded immediately, forgetting that he no longer cared for her concern.

"Go to Doggg Beach, geet the hellll out of ourrr territory," he slurred a bit more noticeably.

"Logan, we're you surfing in the middle of night, with what I'm guessing is half a bottle of Jack Daniels in your system?" she tried again, standing up and walking towards him.

"Maayybbbee."

She rolled her eyes and grabbed his arm to ease him onto the sand, but he struggled against her grip and they both fell to the ground. He landed on top of her, in only his swimming trunks, and burst into laughter. She attempted to wiggle out from under him, but he wasn't budging.

"Geez Ronnie, all you had to do was ask," he teased as she put her palms against his chest and managed to push him down next to her. She rolled her eyes and sat up straight, wiping the sand from her jeans.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed Logan?"

"Not really, but if I do, I'll send Lily your regards," he bit back at her. "What do you care anyway?"

She closed her eyes and shook her head. In all honesty, Veronica had no clue why she still cared about Logan. He had led the firing squad in the assault against her. He spread a good majority of the rumors, slashed her tires, and defaced her locker. What did it concern her if he was setting out to kill himself? Why did it matter?

"Because I can't hate you," she whispered, more to herself. "You were my friend for too long."

"Well, not anymore," he stated, scrambling forward to get the rest of the alcohol next to his surfboard.

The moonlight danced across his back, and Veronica could see the scars all across them. She swallowed back a sob for him. He didn't need pity, and she didn't have it for him. What she did have, however, was sadness at the inability to do anything. She had seen through his attempts to cover up his frequent injuries. She knew why he always wore a wetsuit, even when the surf was barely there and refused to swim at pool parties. He had never said a word, but she knew. And she knew that he knew that.

"Logan," she sighed, reaching for the bottle and tossing it yards away. She couldn't stand to look at anymore booze at that point. "What happened?"

"Veronica," he sobered instantly. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Some of those scars are pretty fresh Logan," she prodded. "What happened?"

"Nothing," he closed off, turning away from her. "Didn't I say something about you not being welcome?"

She didn't respond. They sat there, not looking at each other, in utter silence. She ignored the vibration of her cell and just stared out to sea. She couldn't help Logan, though she desperately wanted to. Even after everything, she still wanted to help him.

"I'll take you to Duncan's," she offered, still not looking at him.

"I don't think the Kanes want you around," he snapped at her.

"I'm not going in," she snapped back. "I'll just drop you off outside. Your too drunk to drive, and if you show up at your house like this…"

She didn't want to talk about what would happen if he went home drunk.

He didn't want her to think about what would happen.

"They aren't home," Logan informed her. "Mom went off to a spa to drink her life away and Daddy Dearest went to shoot another movie."

She made no comment on the reference to an abusive parent. She understood why he cringed when the old movie would come on TV. She understood why he didn't talk as much every now and again. She understood why he never wanted to go home.

"You're still too drunk to drive Logan," she insisted. "Just let me take you home and you and Duncan can get your car tomorrow."

He looked at her finally, anger flashing in his eyes. What right did she have making him miss her? He knew she wasn't doing it on purpose, but it still pissed him off. She was nothing like them. She was good deep down, and he hated how he could do nothing to make her hate him. It drove him nuts that she would fight with Madison, or Dick, or even Beaver, but she never said a word to him. He could never get her angry at him. Nothing he did hurt her.

"I'll sleep out here," he protested.

"No you won't."

She was right. He wouldn't. As soon as she drove off, he'd have gotten in his car, too far drunk to be able to drive. She knew that he would never sleep on a beach, getting sand in every uncomfortable nook and cranny.

"This doesn't make us friends," he told her, wishing she'd turn around and look at him.

"I know."

He got up, grabbing his surfboard and walking past the forgotten bottle of whiskey. She shot up after him, afraid he'd actually drive home the way he was. She watched as he fumbled across the beach to his car. He nearly fell twice, but she grabbed him in time, immediately letting go after. She let him put his surfboard away, but when he walked to the driver side door, she wedged herself between Logan and the car. He leaned against the yellow Xterra, his face inches from hers, watching her wince from the handle in her back.

"Move," he demanded.

"No," she insisted.

Before he could open his mouth with a retort, she shoved him back, to a point where he almost fell, and grabbed his forearm. Channeling her father, she pinned his arm behind his back, thankful for his intoxicated state, and led to her car.

"Kinky," he teased.

She didn't know why, but she had Logan in her passenger seat, and she was driving him home. He didn't deserve her kindness, but he needed it. She couldn't let him drive home drunk, putting others at risk. More importantly, she couldn't lose someone else she cared about. He didn't speak the entire way to his house. She pulled in, punched the correct code into the gate, and walked him to his front door. She hadn't said a word, but something blew up inside her as she started walking back to the car.

She had lost a friend too.

So she turned around and called out his name. Once she had his attention, she let the words slip out before she knew how to stop them.

"Fuck you."

Logan was stunned at her sudden anger, but in a way, he was glad. It was easier to hate each other.

Veronica thought she'd have felt better after she said it, but it what she felt was different. She felt a little sad, slightly relieved, and a little disappointed. She had lost a friend, finally yelled at one problem in her life, but at the same time, she had given in.

So when she climbed back into her bedroom, aware of the fact the yelling was coming to a close, she cried. When the doors slammed, she had already placed the earphones where they belonged, could barely hear anything but the sounds of Oasis.

"Stand by me," she whispered into the air. "Nobody knows the way it's gonna be."

And maybe that's why she had waited so long to fight Logan back. Because one day, she knew that things between them might change. Maybe it'd be better or worse, but she had hoped it would have come sooner. And she had hoped that she could help him. But they were beyond any help. He didn't need her. She didn't need him.

It was over.

**Just missing Veronica and trying something a bit new.**


End file.
